In the Dust - by Ainsley MacLeod

Sun rays sting my face,

shooting through the bedroom window 

to wake for the day

My body still

I peak up at the dust which floats to its own melody above me

Aloof in the air

settling on the pane of my window

the spread of my bed

coating my body 

in my tightly spaced bedroom 

on my timely paced head

Which would love to be anywhere

                          but present

And longs for anything but

To feel the ceiling, the walls

Weighing me closer 

Into my pillows

The days before 

are telling me to sit in the dust

Is it all I am good for?

To lay in this dirt

To let me be its home

Stomach too big

Face too wide

My laziness helps me do nothing to thrive.

Still, my body

Moves through my filth

Moves my feet to the rug

Moves to sit

Up.       

My body tells me

We are here for anything but to 

Allow dust to fill my void

To let this grime

claim me as its own

So my body will rise up

My head will sing songs which are only out of sorrow

My body will rise. 

I won't lay

 still.

I wake to be a part of the creation

My body will tell me

She and my mind together 

Do not deserve this, 

But much better 

My legs move over the side of my bed

I bring my face and my hair

Into the air so that 

This dust will dance flat onto the floor

And my body will move towards the door

Descending into a space 

where the morning dust 

Won't break the trust

My body has in me

because the will my body gives me is proof

That one day it will be different

That one day my movement

                                will be natural

It makes getting out of bed today

a little more worth it.

and my body will always help me

dust myself off. 

___________________________________________________

Ainsley MacLeod is a graduate from McMaster University where she obtained an honours BA in English and Cultural Studies while also playing for the women’s lacrosse team. As she is currently an educator for The Sunflower School, Ainsley hopes to use her love for working with young kids to become a teacher or work to help children with exceptionalities more closely. Ainsley’s love for creative writing and advocacy for normalizing mental health and illness have combined to inspire this piece, to which she will create more and continue to reach her childhood dream of publishing her work. 

IG: @ainsmacleod